We are forever
by True Mirage
Summary: She loves each and every one of them. They’re pieces of her soul, of who she is.' BL and Brooke's friendship with all the characters, esp. Peyton. ONESHOT.


A/N: **I'm not sure if I'll continue this**, but maybe, so I'll leave it for 'in progress'.

She doesn't have to answer anymore. They never ask anymore. She doesn't know if it's out of respect, or worry, or if it's just because they got tired of asking.

She doesn't know, and she doesn't care.

'Her new people'. Yeah, that's what she calls them. The people she hangs out with, sees at work. The guy she's dating. She's known them for years now, but she just can't seem to call them her friends. Or boyfriend. They don't deserve it and she doesn't owe it to them.

She keeps pictures all over her house. In the bedroom, in the kitchen, in the living room.

It's pictures of her past. It's pictures of Haley and Nathan and Peyton and Lucas and Mouth. Even Keith and Karen.

She loves each and every one of them. They're pieces of her soul, of who she is. Brooke Davis.

But the real Brooke Davis was left in Tree Hill. The woman she is now is not the woman she used to be. She no longer feels like she deserves to be called by her name.  
She let herself down.

She doesn't have to answer anymore. 'Her new people', they never ask anymore, about the people in the pictures. She never told them. Nobody knows their names; nobody knows what they are to her.

But she does. She knows what they are to her, what they will always be to her.

It's ten years ago now, precisely. Ten years ago she left. A few days after her best friend's 18th birthday. It was unexpected, she knows.

But it was killing her. Everything was killing her.

Lucas was no longer the guy she knew him to be; he was now rude and violent. He hated everything around him, he hated the world.  
She knows his uncle's death did this to him. When he found out it was Dan who had murdered him, he was furious. Brooke had never seen him in a state like that. He was determined to find Dan, and make him pay for killing Keith. Dan had left Tree Hill several months before, and Brooke knew it would be hard to find him.

She asked him not to leave. She cried and she begged on her bare knees for him to stay. She swore to him they would make through this, that she would help him in any way she could. She loved him; she'd do anything for him.

But he didn't listen.

He left. He left and she screamed after him, she screamed for him to stay.

Later that night, she cried in to Peyton's arms. She held on to her like there was nothing else.

Hours later she lay in her bed, which was next to Peyton's, wide awake. She wasn't able to sleep, how could she, when someone had just taken her heart out and stamped on it.

She took in the surroundings around her, and suddenly she knew what she had to do.

She got up and packed her bag. She grabbed a shirt of Peyton's by accident (although now she knows she did it by purpose) and left one of her owns by accident (although now she knows she did it by purpose).

She kissed her sleeping best friend on the cheek, while a tear was running down her own, and wrote a note where she told Peyton she loved her and that she was sorry. And that she was leaving and wasn't coming back.

She cannot believe it's been ten years. It feels like yesterday to her. But maybe that's because each day here is the same.

She keeps pictures of them, because she wants to feel like they're there with her. She hates being alone.

Sometimes in bed, she closes her eyes and imagines Lucas next to her, wrapping his arms around her.

And sometimes she pretends the chocolate cake she's eating is made by Haley. Or when she hears the basketball games commentators, she pretends it's Mouth.

She misses them. She misses them so much it hurts in her chest. She misses Nathan joking around with her. She misses seeing Tutor Girl fall in cheerleading practice. She misses Karen's comforting words. She misses Mouth's advices. She misses Peyton's drawings. She misses Lucas reading Shakespeare to her.

She misses all of it. She misses each and every little thing about them.

She cannot remember the last time she was happy after leaving Tree Hill.

If someone asked her about the latest truly happy day she had, she probably wouldn't tell them, but she'd know what day that was. Yeah, she'd know.

They had picnic at the beach. She can't really remember whose idea it was, but she thinks it was Haley's.  
Mouth and Haley made the food together, and she remembers they did a tremendous job.

It was a sunny day. A perfect day. The kind of day that makes you feel overwhelmingly happy.

Brooke, Lucas, Haley, Peyton, Nathan and Jake, they were all there. So was Mouth, but he ended up flirting with a cute red head all day.

What a great time they all had had.

Nathan and Brooke had played around in the water while Haley was in Lucas' arms, both laughing at their lovers. Peyton and Jake couldn't keep their hands off each other.

They had stayed on that beach until the night came. The guys were talking about something Brooke was not listening to and Haley had fallen asleep in Nathan's arms.

Brooke and Peyton lay next to each other, watching the sunset and enjoying the silence.

"You're my best friend, you know that?" Peyton suddenly said and Brooke smiled.

"Yeah, I know that." She said.

"No, I mean...You're the best friend I could ever have." Peyton paused and Brooke looked into her teary eyes. "I know I'll sound like a stupid girl in a cheesy movie now, but I don't think I ever told you how sorry I am for hurting you."

"Come here." Brooke took Peyton into her arms and sighed. "I love you, you know that P. Sawyer? Even though you changed your hair so I can't call you Goldie Locks again."

Peyton laughed and Brooke smiled slightly. "What you mean to me, will never change. Ever. No matter what happens. You will always be my soul mate, next to Lucas. Always. You and me – we are forever. We all are. You, me, Lucas, Jake, Nathan, Haley. Even Mouth."

"You're right." Peyton said and took her arm around Brooke's waist. "We're forever."

Brooke would still like to think that. That they're forever.

But sometimes she wonders if they even remember her. If she's just an old high school friend to them. She hopes she isn't, because they are so much more to her.

She wonders if Lucas regrets leaving. She wonders if he hates her. And if he still loves her. She wonders what he's doing now, is he married? Maybe he has a kid. A cute Lucas junior, maybe. She wonders if he still plays basketball.

She wonders if he ever found Dan and made him pay. She wonders if Lucas ruined his own life.

But she prays that Keith watches over Lucas.

There are a lot of things she wonders, and she knows she can find out if she can.  
She knows she can go back to Tree Hill (do they even still live there?) and find out everything she wants to know.

But she won't. This is her life now.

Does she regret leaving Tree Hill? Sometimes. And sometimes she doesn't.

When she does regret it, she reminds herself of why she left.

She left because Lucas broke her heart all over again. She left because her best friend was leaving Tree Hill herself with Jake. She left because she knew she was one of the reasons to why Jimmy Edwards decided to kill himself.

She left because she was scared of what was going to come next.

Brooke lies down in her bed, with all the pictures of the people she loves around her.

Now, she tries to remember the way Lucas used to say 'I love you' and she tries to remember Peyton's laugh and Haley's singing and Nathan's face when he wins a basketball game.

But sometimes it's hard to remember.


End file.
